About Me
I enjoy many activities. Playing Golf, Lifting Weights, Water Skiing, Wakeboarding, Snowboarding, Motorcycle Riding and eating Banana Pudding.
Position:
Database Administrator
Favorite Projects:
Master to Master Replication
Favorite Experience:
Birth of my boys
Hobbies:
Golf, Weight Lifting, Water Skiing, SnowBoarding
Thursday, September 4, 2008, 01:47 PM CST
[General]
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your
hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have
to pee
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when
dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of
being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a
wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss
you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning
you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or
traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one
you are in now. (works every time)
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully
immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability
of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't
want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove
to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the
itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theatre Rule: At any event, the people
whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to
a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last
until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are
only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of
an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are
directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location: No matter where you go,
there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is
possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's
really ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no
feet.
Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a
product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Law of Chinese Restaurants: If you are
the ONLY customer sitting in a Chinese restaurant when the next person comes
in the hostess will seat him/her right next to you.